Monday, January 20, 2014

The Silent Wife?

I'm very fortunate to have such a close family. My cousins are like siblings and my aunts and uncles are like additional parents. I used to wonder if when I found a husband he would be open to the closeness, or if there would be trade offs for holidays and the dreaded balancing act that so many couples have to endure each holiday.
Because the Aussie moved here without his family, it made for an easier transition for us in that department. My family took him in on our third date (Easter at my cousins house, that's a story for another day!) and since then I now find myself questioning who they like better!

All kidding aside, I know its hard for him to not have his family with him, to have the quick phone calls, or to help figure the tough stuff of this marriage thing with. I know I can pick up the phone and say to my mother " What was he thinking?!? And while he could pick up the phone and call my parents for the same thing, I know its not the same. So it was great when his father came over in August, and amazing when his mum came over for Christmas (again, stories for another day!) But again, the bitter sweet emotions I felt on his behalf when we dropped his mother off at the airport left me feeling like for the first time- I can't fix this for him.

The tears that strolled down my cheek were I guess partly for me- after all, I had just spent two weeks in small quarters alone with her- but mostly for him. She said to me that this would probably be her last trip to the U.S. A small part of me wanted to shake her and say "HOW could you say that?!? Think that?!? Believe that?!?" ok- a large part of me. The worst part is that he doesn't know that.

I do not- repeated- DO NOT keep secrets from the Aussie- about anything....I know that by telling him something like that he would be filled with guilt and possibly regret.
So there I stood, crying like a fool at 4:00 a.m. in the airport and he couldn't figure out why it was affecting me so much.

So let me ask you this... Is it ok to keep something like that from him? In my defense I'm choosing not to believe that this is her last trip here.

white stocking for her first(and last?!?) Christmas with him in  8 years