Monday, February 3, 2014

the $20 fight

So this one is from before we were married....
communication is key so neither of you end up here
I was fortunate enough to be raised in family that was extremely open about everything. My parents shared a bank account, and money was never a "mine" or "yours"
The same theory went for my group of friends, and ultimately in my relationships. The thought that most had was that it would even out eventually. So on the day of the $20.00 fight I was taken by surprise...
Picture it, Greek Festival on a crowded Cape Cod summer, singing, dancing, baklava, and vendors. The Aussie and I  decided it would be cute to get these magnetic bracelets with one matching bead each. I had no cash on me at the time, but the Aussie offered to pay for it.
About an hour later we were driving around and I found that he had taken me to the bank. I asked what we were doing to which he replied "so you can get the money you owe me for the bracelet" my initial reaction? "what the F__?!?" followed by an "Ok, didn't realize $20.00 would make or break you. Filled with rage, I went on thinking about what kind of guy does this, was this his way of starting to separate us so he could break up with me? what was going on?!?
I took out the money and gave him his $20.00 to pay him back for the bracelet that I didn't want at this point.
On our long silent drive home, I ran through every possibility that my imagination could muster up as to why this small amount of money meant to so darn much to him.
It wasn't until a few months later that I found out the Aussie had just spent the last of his money paying for his immigration lawyer. During the immigration process, his Visa had been denied and he was unable to get paid for over three months.
The moral of this story is to think before you react. I could have very easily asked what was going on, but knowing the Aussie the way that I do, I'm not sure he would have told me. He didn't want me to have to worry about his immigration issues or have it affect us. He didn't tell anyone, not even his family.  
Can you think of a time that through communication, your $20.00 fight could have been avoided?