The Secret to a Long Lasting Marriage...?

The Aussie and I recently went to St. Augustine with my parents. He had to work and dad was sleeping in- so mum and I decided to go to some antique shops on a rainy morning. We pulled into one that was connected to a furniture restoration place where we saw a petite woman sweeping the shavings off the ground outside while an older man was using the skill saw. I remember thinking "who makes a little old lady sweep the ground outside!?"
After treasure hunting it was decided that my father too would enjoy the store; so we returned the next day.
It was raining cats and dogs and I was on the phone so mum and dad went in ahead of me. When I joined them in the store they were talking to the same people I watched the day before. That's when I learned that the two were from Manchester, England originally and they had been married for more years than my parents had been alive. My mother asked them what their secret was.
The husband responded "we have a candlelit breakfast every morning." We all smiled and he asked me if I was married. I told him I was to which he replied "Good, I can say this then- and we still do it!" I tried to contain my laughter but when saw the woman hit him in the shoulder and giggle like a school girl I couldn't hold it in! He went on to say that he is more in love with her now than he ever had been, and she still gives him butterflies when he sees her.
It was then that I realized that that's the kind of relationship I hope the Aussie and will continue to have no matter how many years we're together.
The woman wasn't sweeping outside because she had to, she was doing it as another way of taking care of her husband after all those years.
When I told the Aussie about the encounter he laughed and naturally agrees with half of the secret...

So there you have it, a candle lit breakfast and sex.... the answer to the most commonly asked marriage question!

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Happy Ash Wednesday, from the Aussie and I and don't forget to share the secret!

Who Are You

I have this unique fascination with journals. I just love them... a lot. I have yet to write on the first page of any journal and have not filled one to the end for fear of closure. (If that doesn't say a lot about me, I don't know what does)
My wonderful Aussie ad I went to Barnes and Noble on an exciting Saturday night and while we were reminiscing about our first date that brought us there ( a story for another day) he found me surrounded by journals. Old looking leather journals with the rawhide straps and silly ones with crazy prints, some had hardware that looked old and rustic, (though my first thought, was that I could make it better!) I knew that we had only gone I for one quick book for the Aussie for his next work trip, and had no intention of purchasing anything for myself but the Aussie insisted that I get the journal that he picked out for me it really is perfect...
It got me thinking of how much I used to write in them, and how now in the world of blogs and technology little thoughts are left as private thoughts. Being somewhat of an introvert I enjoy some thoughts as private thoughts. I enjoy carrying around that journal and knowing I put whatever I want in it and get those thoughts off my chest, yet keep them just for me. So I've decided that I will use this new journal as means for the exploration needed to rediscover, reinvent and distinguish who I am.

I am a:

• Wife
• Daughter
• Sister
• cousin
• Niece
• Aunt
• Friend
• Servant of the Lord
• Peace maker
• People pleaser
• Employee

There are many others as I'm sure there are for you. While I love most every role I have, and I agree that they make me who I am, I can't help but ask myself from time to time "who am I?"

Wife by far has been my favorite role to play in this life and I look forward to the many years I have in store with the Aussie- constantly learning and growing together as a couple.

Have any of you gone through a transition that has left you happy, but curious as to who you are? Who you have become? What are some things you've done to reintroduce yourself to you?

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The Silent Wife?

I'm very fortunate to have such a close family. My cousins are like siblings and my aunts and uncles are like additional parents. I used to wonder if when I found a husband he would be open to the closeness, or if there would be trade offs for holidays and the dreaded balancing act that so many couples have to endure each holiday.
Because the Aussie moved here without his family, it made for an easier transition for us in that department. My family took him in on our third date (Easter at my cousins house, that's a story for another day!) and since then I now find myself questioning who they like better!

All kidding aside, I know its hard for him to not have his family with him, to have the quick phone calls, or to help figure the tough stuff of this marriage thing with. I know I can pick up the phone and say to my mother " What was he thinking?!? And while he could pick up the phone and call my parents for the same thing, I know its not the same. So it was great when his father came over in August, and amazing when his mum came over for Christmas (again, stories for another day!) But again, the bitter sweet emotions I felt on his behalf when we dropped his mother off at the airport left me feeling like for the first time- I can't fix this for him.

The tears that strolled down my cheek were I guess partly for me- after all, I had just spent two weeks in small quarters alone with her- but mostly for him. She said to me that this would probably be her last trip to the U.S. A small part of me wanted to shake her and say "HOW could you say that?!? Think that?!? Believe that?!?" ok- a large part of me. The worst part is that he doesn't know that.

I do not- repeated- DO NOT keep secrets from the Aussie- about anything....I know that by telling him something like that he would be filled with guilt and possibly regret.
So there I stood, crying like a fool at 4:00 a.m. in the airport and he couldn't figure out why it was affecting me so much.

So let me ask you this... Is it ok to keep something like that from him? In my defense I'm choosing not to believe that this is her last trip here.


white stocking for her first(and last?!?) Christmas with him in  8 years

a lunchbox full

When tax season rolled around the Aussie and I couldn't agree which tax person to go to; his or mine. Considering we both used the same company, in different locations, and we were filling separately (thanks to student loans) we decided we'd each use our own. The Aussies appointment day came and I decided to stay home and get some work done. He woke up not feeling too great, but decided to make the hour and half journey to "his guy."
Throughout the day I received updates via text message that lead me to believe he really wasn't feeling well. I offered to drive out and pick him up, but he consistently refused. After barely making it through the appointment the Aussie gets back in his car and heads home.
Upon his arrival, I met him at the door where he handed me a blue lunchbox. Before he could get any words out of his mouth, I peeked inside the lunchbox...
That's when he tells me that he got sick and low and behold, I was holding the evidence! After suggesting that I wash it out, I faked a sympathetic smile and told him there were other lunchboxes he could use. "How did you manage to continue driving if you were getting sick?" a rational question, I thought.
The Aussie tells me that he was embarrassed about getting sick on the side of the road, and for fear of people seeing him he went to his trunk, found a lunchbox and used that...
Too embarrassed?!?! No shame in bringing it home to his new wife though!
Another lesson learned in all of the things they DIDN'T tell us about marriage!

There it is! well we had two, this is the second  one that at no time held  vomit  :) thank God