tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12141962788560559872024-03-12T21:14:07.048-07:00For Better or For Worse & All That JazzThe things they never told you about marriage...Postpartum pastimeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446634357679559939noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1214196278856055987.post-49653249397553906122014-10-31T13:30:00.001-07:002014-10-31T13:30:42.602-07:00Trick or Treat... 4 ways to treat your husband on HalloweenThe Aussie doesn't really get in to the Halloween spirit. I'm not sure if it's because (as he puts it) it's more of an American thing to get dressed up, or if it's because he's only been home two times since he's moved to the U.S. so he really hasn't been able to celebrate.
This year, we've decided to go to a zoo in a neighboring state to see their pumpkin display. I can't wait! I'm sure it will be wicked chilly considering we're expecting to welcome November with some snow tomorrow. So to show my appreciation for my traveling Aussie and to (hopefully) get him into the spirit of today, I'm going to share five ways to treat him this year. Most are silly little things, but I've found that no matter how goofy something seems, the Aussie reacts with nothing but gratitude when I show him that it's just for him. Life gets crazy, but I think him knowing that I've put the effort in just because, makes a world of difference<br />
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1. Pick up a little something for him while you're out stocking up on candy to give to the ghosts and ghouls that will be paying you a visit. I grabbed a funny hooded sweatshirt from Walmart that I know he'll get a kick out of. Because he comes home from work before me today, I've left it on the bed with a little note.<br />
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(He loved it!) <br />
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2. Whether you're dressing up to go out to a party, or to hand out candy- everyone will get to see your costume. Think about getting a costume just for him to see! It could be funny, sexy, cute, an inside joke, whatever- as long as it's just for him- that's all that matters!<br />
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3. We've all seen/heard/tried/wished for the rose petals leading us to the bedroom to find candles lit, soft music playing, and the promise of a wonderful night. Lets take a different approach. Put down bite size candy to form a trail leading him to the bedroom! If you're really feeling into it, go ahead and put that costume on and wait in the middle of the heart shaped candy form on the bed. Can't get more Halloween-y than that!<br />
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4. Once you've hit all the parties you need to go to, and filled everyone's bags with delicious treats for the evening, make him a hot drink of his choice, (homemade cider, tea, hot chocolate,) curl up on the couch, and pop in his favorite scary movie (old or new) squeeze him a little tighter and let him be your hero.<br />
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After treasure hunting it was decided that my father too would enjoy the store; so we returned the next day. <br />
It was raining cats and dogs and I was on the phone so mum and dad went in ahead of me. When I joined them in the store they were talking to the same people I watched the day before. That's when I learned that the two were from Manchester, England originally and they had been married for more years than my parents had been alive. My mother asked them what their secret was.<br />
The husband responded "we have a candlelit breakfast every morning." We all smiled and he asked me if I was married. I told him I was to which he replied "Good, I can say this then- and we still do it!" I tried to contain my laughter but when saw the woman hit him in the shoulder and giggle like a school girl I couldn't hold it in! He went on to say that he is more in love with her now than he ever had been, and she still gives him butterflies when he sees her.<br />
It was then that I realized that that's the kind of relationship I hope the Aussie and will continue to have no matter how many years we're together. <br />
The woman wasn't sweeping outside because she had to, she was doing it as another way of taking care of her husband after all those years. <br />
When I told the Aussie about the encounter he laughed and naturally agrees with half of the secret...<br />
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So there you have it, a candle lit breakfast and sex.... the answer to the most commonly asked marriage question!<br />
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What are some ways you will continue to have a successful relationship?<a href="https://www.blogger.com/%3Ca%20href=%22http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/11672077/?claim=ysddq5cfexm">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>" target="_blank">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Happy Ash Wednesday, from the Aussie and I and don't forget to share the secret!</td></tr>
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Postpartum pastimeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446634357679559939noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1214196278856055987.post-52089338168404982212014-03-04T08:15:00.000-08:002014-03-05T10:47:51.206-08:00Who Are You<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I have this unique fascination with journals. I just love them... a lot. I have yet to write on the first page of any journal and have not filled one to the end for fear of closure. (If that doesn't say a lot about me, I don't know what does) <br />
My wonderful Aussie ad I went to Barnes and Noble on an exciting Saturday night and while we were reminiscing about our first date that brought us there ( a story for another day) he found me surrounded by journals. Old looking leather journals with the rawhide straps and silly ones with crazy prints, some had hardware that looked old and rustic, (though my first thought, was that I could make it better!) I knew that we had only gone I for one quick book for the Aussie for his next work trip, and had no intention of purchasing anything for myself but the Aussie insisted that I get the journal that he picked out for me it really is perfect...<br />
It got me thinking of how much I used to write in them, and how now in the world of blogs and technology little thoughts are left as private thoughts. Being somewhat of an introvert I enjoy some thoughts as private thoughts. I enjoy carrying around that journal and knowing I put whatever I want in it and get those thoughts off my chest, yet keep them just for me. So I've decided that I will use this new journal as means for the exploration needed to rediscover, reinvent and distinguish who I am. <br />
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I am a:<br />
<ul>
<li>Wife</li>
<li>Daughter</li>
<li>Sister </li>
<li>cousin</li>
<li>Niece </li>
<li>Aunt </li>
<li>Friend </li>
<li>Servant of the Lord</li>
<li>Peace maker</li>
<li>People pleaser</li>
<li>Employee</li>
</ul>
There are many others as I'm sure there are for you. While I love most every role I have, and I agree that they make me who I am, I can't help but ask myself from time to time "who am I?" <br />
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Wife by far has been my favorite role to play in this life and I look forward to the many years I have in store with the Aussie- constantly learning and growing together as a couple. <br />
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Have any of you gone through a transition that has left you happy, but curious as to who you are? Who you have become? What are some things you've done to reintroduce yourself to you? <br />
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Postpartum pastimeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446634357679559939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1214196278856055987.post-59464005496003216162014-02-07T15:23:00.003-08:002014-03-05T10:48:31.493-08:005 Reasons He May Resent YouI was reading <a href="http://www.womansday.com/sex-relationships/dating-marriage/how-to-show-appreciation-for-husband#slide-1" target="_blank">this article</a> today about the reasons that husbands grow to resent their wives. While I'm proud to say most of these things, the Aussie and I have under control but it really got me thinking about some of these issues and how I've perceived some couples in regards to these points.<br />
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I know that nobody ever knows what happen behind closed doors, but I also know (thanks to my line of work) that <u><i>perception is everything </i></u><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Marriage isn't being a ball and chain, its a partnership</td></tr>
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<i><u></u></i><br />
The article has the following points:<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="color: red;">Not fighting fair- </span>OK, so this point talks about the fact that men typically withdraw their feelings to avoid an argument, while women start off on a negative using "you" statements like saying "you are such a slob" it goes on to talk about<b> using "I" statements</b>. This goes back to the importance of. communication in a relationship. The Aussie and I have been through this and I'm happy to say its something we are aware of and work on. Early on, I would only focus on what I thought <i>he</i> was doing wrong. As we began to grow as a couple it became clear to me that he is much more open to communicate and more in tune with what I'm saying when I say things like " I feel like you were treating me like I was stupid" and he would say "I feel very disrespected when you don't do something that needs to be done after I've asked three times" this was helpful for both of us. I didn't realize I was disrespecting him, knowing that makes me think twice before<strike> doing </strike>not doing something.</li>
<li><span style="color: red;">Treating him like a child</span>- I don't think there is anything worse than one person in the relationship treating the other person like a child. I would say that more often than not it isn't intentional. Being in a relationship is entering into a partnership. You don't get married so you can raise an adult. You marry someone to grow <i>together- </i>so keep in mind that <b>while he/she may do something different than how you would, it doesn't mean its wrong.</b></li>
<li><span style="color: red;">Involving other people in your marriage-</span> I cannot stress enough how terrible I think it is to involve other people! You may think that by writing a blog about my marriage is doing just that, but I assure you that the purpose of this is to share experiences. The Aussie and I both have faults, we are not perfect. BUT that does not mean that you will find a "husband bashing" session in any of my posts. What you will find are some things I've learned along the way. I've said this before, but I really pity the people that bash their significant others to people! Keep in mind that it is human nature to complain about things, but typically when you talk about your significant other to people the fist reaction is to say the negative things. <b>That is what people remember, that is what changes their perception of your significant other and your relationship</b> Sure its easy to complain, and have a laugh at someone else's expense, maybe even commiserate with the girls/guys. Just because it's easy, doesn't make it right! Would you want him to do that to you? Its just not fair to him, or your relationship. Go back to the first point and communicate with the other person in your relationship!</li>
<li><span style="color: red;">Not showing appreciation for the things he does right</span>- Hello!?!?! Everyone likes to hear something nice! Go back to <a href="http://forbetterorworseandallthatjazz.blogspot.com/2014/02/5-ways-to-say-i-love-you-without-saying.html" target="_blank">this post</a> for some ways to show appreciation. The Aussie does a lot of the housework and I try to always <b>remember to thank him.</b> Yes we share our home, but it's nice to know that he doesn't think its all my responsibility to clean or cook. And sure, I may have to rewash some of the dishes, but I'd rather do that and appreciate the effort than make him feel bad, or feel like we aren't equal!</li>
<li><span style="color: red;">Trying to change him-</span> You married him for a reason! There are so many things you love about him. And lets face it- you're not perfect either. <b>Changing who he is will send him signals that he isn't good enough for you. </b></li>
</ul>
There are some other points as well in this article but those are the top 5 that I feel strongly about. Do you think your relationship suffers from any of these or are you and your significant other on track? <br />
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/%3Ca%20href=%22http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/11672077/?claim=ysddq5cfexm">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>" target="_blank">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>Postpartum pastimeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446634357679559939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1214196278856055987.post-51440765286860982972014-02-04T08:21:00.000-08:002014-03-05T10:49:09.139-08:005 Ways to Say I Love You Without Saying I Love YouMany of us that have been in relationships for an extended period of time have fallen into the <i>habit </i>of saying "I love you" to either fill a void in the conversation, break the silence, or because we didn't know what else to say. I find myself in the habit of saying "k, love you, bye" on the phone so much that I have to think before hanging up with a colleague! (you've all done it, don't pretend you haven't!)<br />
In a world full of habit, run by creatures of habit, I've been looking for ways to break out of the norm and tell the Aussie I love him in other ways. Here's what I've come up with:<br />
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1. <span style="color: red;">Make his favorite dinner</span>, set the table with the "good stuff" that you usually reserve for company, light some candles, get dressed as if you were going to a 5 star restaurant. No TV, or other distractions, except maybe some background music that may lead to an impromptu dance.<br />
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2. <span style="color: red;">Let him pick the movie!</span> I don't know about you, but I married a guy who will watch <i>anything </i>I want to see without complaining about it. This means that for a weekend or just one night, I should be able to watch whatever he wants. Even if he does pick Star Wars! Again, free of distractions, this means you cant play on Pinterest all night or read my amazing blog while the movie is on. Giving him, and the movie he picked full attention will go a long way to show you appreciate and love him.<br />
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3.<span style="color: red;"> Leave a note in a surprising location, </span>I do this regularly for the Aussie. Because he travels for work, I put a note somewhere in his luggage and wait for him to find it while he's away. I used to do a note for each day he was away, but that didn't work for two reasons. 1. He saves them all, and that takes up a lot of space in the drawer he keeps them in! 2. They started to lose their meaning when I would write 14 at a time. One well thought out note goes a long way!<br />
If you didn't marry a traveler, you could sneak it into his wallet, or a pocket he'll check, maybe even in the windshield wiper or front seat of his car. <br />
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4. <span style="color: red;">Find something specific you love about him/her.</span> Instead of saying "I Love You" try saying "I love knowing you kiss me goodbye every morning even if I'm not awake when you leave" or "I love your laugh" this will help show your significant other that you still notice the little things that add up to make them perfect for you.<br />
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5. <span style="color: red;">Say <b>Thank You</b></span>! All too often we take for granted what the other person in the relationship does. For me, its that the Aussie always vacuums, and always says "can I get you anything, do you need anything" when he is traveling it really reminds me of all the little things he does. So take a minute and think about some of the things he/she does regularly that you would have to do if they weren't around.<br />
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What are some ways you break the "I Love You" habit? <a href="https://www.blogger.com/%3Ca%20href=%22http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/11672077/?claim=ysddq5cfexm">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>" target="_blank">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>Postpartum pastimeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446634357679559939noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1214196278856055987.post-39562987021294928712014-02-03T10:39:00.002-08:002014-02-07T22:58:31.202-08:00the $20 fightSo this one is from<i> before</i> we were married....<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">communication is key so neither of you end up here</td></tr>
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I was fortunate enough to be raised in family that was extremely open about everything. My parents shared a bank account, and money was never a "mine" or "yours" <br />
The same theory went for my group of friends, and ultimately in my relationships. The thought that most had was that it would even out eventually. So on the day of the $20.00 fight I was taken by surprise...<br />
Picture it, Greek Festival on a crowded Cape Cod summer, singing, dancing, baklava, and vendors. The Aussie and I decided it would be cute to get these magnetic bracelets with one matching bead each. I had no cash on me at the time, but the Aussie offered to pay for it. <br />
About an hour later we were driving around and I found that he had taken me to the bank. I asked what we were doing to which he replied "so you can get the money you owe me for the bracelet" my initial reaction? "what the F__?!?" followed by an "Ok, didn't realize $20.00 would make or break you. Filled with rage, I went on thinking about what kind of guy does this, was this his way of starting to separate us so he could break up with me? what was going on?!?<br />
I took out the money and gave him his $20.00 to pay him back for the bracelet that I didn't want at this point.<br />
On our long silent drive home, I ran through every possibility that my imagination could muster up as to why this small amount of money meant to so darn much to him.<br />
It wasn't until a few months later that I found out the Aussie had just spent the last of his money paying for his immigration lawyer. During the immigration process, his Visa had been denied and he was unable to get paid for over three months.<br />
The moral of this story is to think before you react. I could have very easily asked what was going on, but knowing the Aussie the way that I do, I'm not sure he would have told me. He didn't want me to have to worry about his immigration issues or have it affect us. He didn't tell anyone, not even his family. <br />
Can you think of a time that through communication, your $20.00 fight could have been avoided?<br />
Postpartum pastimeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446634357679559939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1214196278856055987.post-65924710237810251612014-01-29T08:20:00.001-08:002014-02-07T23:13:03.796-08:00Communication, Laughter and everything in betweenIt's an amazing feeling when you don't feel well and have to work all day, to know that once you get home from work, someone is there to take care of you. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It takes teamwork to accomplish things... like eating a giant lollipop!</td></tr>
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You've heard before when I said how silly it is when the Aussie gets sick- lying in bed all day like its the plague. He's always asking how I manage to function when I'm sick... because things still need to get done, after all the world doesn't stop just because I don't feel well. Its nice to know that while I worry about getting things done all he worries about is what he can do to make me feel better. <br />
I will say time and time again that it's communication and laughter that make a marriage; but today its the warm hugs and soft kisses on the top of my head that make my marriage! Its putting a fresh glass of water next to the bed every night before bed. It's being tucked in before he leaves for work early in the morning. <br />
All too often I hear married couples laugh at the expense of their spouses and quite frankly, it makes my blood boil! There are so many great couples out there that work together to make a great<u><b> team.</b></u> <br />
When the Aussie and I got married we made a pact that the two of us would work through it all and nothing would be too hard to take on because we'd have each other to balance the load. When I think about the stories other married couples tell me, I find myself feeling sorry for them. They laugh at the faults of their partners, the look to commiserate with others and I cant help it... I pity them. How unfortunate that they entered into a union with someone that they don't treat well. You'll never find me telling you that the Aussie isn't good, that he doesn't do something. We're a team, and if you cant count on your spouse, who can you count on? <br />
Part of marriage to us was joining our lives to have one life <u>together. </u>When we exchanged vows we took on each other's strengths and weaknesses; the good the bad and the ugly. His faults are my faults, and my undesirable idiosyncrasies are his. His determination and strength became mine and my desires and passions became his. Though we may not have been married for as long as some others, we like to think that no matter what- its us against the world. <br />
So take some time today to appreciate all the little things that make your relationship unique to you. Ours may not be perfect, but its perfect for us. <br />
It's all the little things he's done, I've done, and we've done together that make up the meaning of the ring he put on my finger. He's my superman <3 <span id="goog_916856717"></span><br />
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<br />Postpartum pastimeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446634357679559939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1214196278856055987.post-42126244003809357252014-01-27T21:12:00.000-08:002014-02-03T10:31:41.161-08:0010 unique paper first anniversary giftsThe toughest part about getting gifts for each other once you're married is finding something that you can live with too! The first anniversary can be one of excitement for most couples. The Aussie suggested that we remain true to the traditional wedding anniversary gifts. How sweet right? So far we've gotten to two, and I must say it can be difficult to determine what to get him that falls in the correct category and is creative... so here's my list of ideas for the first anniversary gift- paper<br />
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1. Make coupons like I suggested <a href="http://forbetterorworseandallthatjazz.blogspot.com/2014/01/valentines-day.html">here</a> </div>
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2. Frame a picture (it counts if you print it on picture paper!)</div>
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3. Purchase tickets to an event, concert, movie, whatever strikes your fancy</div>
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4. Create a shadow box filled with tickets from an event you've attended in the past, with a picture or two from the event.</div>
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5. Write a good old fashioned love letter. This is also a great way to remind your better half why they're so important to you after that first CrAzY year!</div>
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6. Write the words "I love you" in multiple languages on one sheet of white lined paper. Use one pen and just write until the page is full. Once that's done, take a red colored pencil and write "I Love You" across the page and frame it. The Aussie found it really cute. You can also make a smaller one if you think its too large on a regular piece of paper. This can be a bit time consuming so you can click <a href="http://www.shophandmade.com/store/cshelledesigns/">here</a> to order one from me and save yourself the time.</div>
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7. Take a mason Jar and fill it with 365 quotes on love. One for each day of the year until your cotton anniversary. I'll admit, this one took <b>A LOT </b>of time to find 365 good quotes, to copy, paste, and cut. Or you can <a href="http://shop-ly.com/1e3rdLu">order</a> one from me, and all you'll have to do is give it to your spouse!</div>
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8. Cut your wedding vows, or your wedding invitation and put them in a clear bulb to hang some place you'll see often. Not just on your Christmas tree.</div>
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9. Find a book of meaning (the older the better!) and write something personal to your spouse from your heart.</div>
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10. Fill all the walls in one room, or the mirror, or his/her car, or windows, (you get the point) with sticky notes of all the reasons you love and adore him/her. Don't forget to include some reasons why the past year as a married couple were wonderful.</div>
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I also wrapped everything in newspaper and construction paper. I realize that tissue <b>paper </b>and wrapping <b>paper </b> are both paper, but it seemed more fun this way! </div>
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I'd love to hear some other ideas out there on the paper anniversary and to see if others still follow the traditional gifts.</div>
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Good luck!</div>
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Postpartum pastimeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446634357679559939noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1214196278856055987.post-57561268542093821492014-01-21T20:05:00.000-08:002014-03-05T10:49:47.458-08:00how to "Light that fire"I asked the Aussie what comes to mind when I say "Valentine's Day" his response- "Its another day I get to show you how much I love you a chance to make it like the first year. I think it's another day you make me very happy and lucky"<br />
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I was expecting a typical "excuse for women to get flowers" or "a commercialized holiday" and was ready to roll with that! I'll take the extra sweet answer though.<br />
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So every year the Aussie and I say "no gifts" and every year we sneak around each other for weeks trying to accomplish our secret little gifts for each other to show we care. We both try not to spend too much on each other, but I enjoy spending time creating something for him. I typically break out my craft supplies and come up with something new and fun to express my love and what our relationship means.<br />
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One year I made: <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzuSJpGFzqeVYJIcUqaGJfC4MFGH8YmjWVw1blpgOoq0W7FFx2CPYTxQu519jvX-AicFJWi4J9z95VDgSTq3xCwo6IwTZgSWXzcH7kB11E4VRpghCnAfln5uFQTG-PsbDgm8AZFzxu5bA/s1600/WIN_20140121_223754.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzuSJpGFzqeVYJIcUqaGJfC4MFGH8YmjWVw1blpgOoq0W7FFx2CPYTxQu519jvX-AicFJWi4J9z95VDgSTq3xCwo6IwTZgSWXzcH7kB11E4VRpghCnAfln5uFQTG-PsbDgm8AZFzxu5bA/s1600/WIN_20140121_223754.JPG" height="360" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lovers Coupons... who doesn't love coupons!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All home made and tailored to our relationship </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">and of course with a picture of us <3 it is Valentines Day after all.<br />
<b>You can order a custom made coupon book <a href="http://shop-ly.com/1gqFcwt">here </a></b><br />
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Another year I came up with a fun game to play...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy-9eybYJ3vEZjpgJ4noU_tqBQK6t3vyJbrmsaVr7IvSH7Hz6YwlQNgppkwnu3m5sw70vtjguS8fkhgCpwGTlWJIvP4fhFWoz4fR3CsNpix9A6DPupQMDkLkygljmTJx40UsrC8JVGThA/s1600/WIN_20140121_223942.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy-9eybYJ3vEZjpgJ4noU_tqBQK6t3vyJbrmsaVr7IvSH7Hz6YwlQNgppkwnu3m5sw70vtjguS8fkhgCpwGTlWJIvP4fhFWoz4fR3CsNpix9A6DPupQMDkLkygljmTJx40UsrC8JVGThA/s1600/WIN_20140121_223942.JPG" height="360" width="640" /></a></div>
It's the little things that keep the fun in our relationship Its so easy in the hustle and bustle of the everyday world to forget to take time to enjoy each other as husband and wife.<br />
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I've even made a bouquet of condoms to send to his work. So while all of the men were sending flowers and the girls were oo-ing and ah-ing over their flowers, I won the "cool wife" title. <br />
Every year I make chocolate dipped stuffed strawberries for him as well. That always puts a smile on his face! I'll upload a how to on that when we get closer to the big day!<br />
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Its not all about the physical stuff don't worry :) Last year I got him tickets to see Blue Man Group too. This year however, I fear I may be stumped... well for now at least. What are some creative and fun ways to show the special someone in your life that you appreciate and want to celebrate them?<br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/%3Ca%20href=%22http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/11672077/?claim=ysddq5cfexm">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>" target="_blank">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>Postpartum pastimeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446634357679559939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1214196278856055987.post-39768401126295248322014-01-20T22:06:00.002-08:002014-02-07T23:15:27.803-08:00The Silent Wife?I'm very fortunate to have such a close family. My cousins are like siblings and my aunts and uncles are like additional parents. I used to wonder if when I found a husband he would be open to the closeness, or if there would be trade offs for holidays and the dreaded balancing act that so many couples have to endure each holiday. <br />
Because the Aussie moved here without his family, it made for an easier transition for us in that department. My family took him in on our third date (Easter at my cousins house, that's a story for another day!) and since then I now find myself questioning who they like better! <br />
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All kidding aside, I know its hard for him to not have his family with him, to have the quick phone calls, or to help figure the tough stuff of this marriage thing with. I know I can pick up the phone and say to my mother " What was he <i>thinking</i>?!? And while he could pick up the phone and call my parents for the same thing, I know its not the same. So it was great when his father came over in August, and amazing when his mum came over for Christmas (again, stories for another day!) But again, the bitter sweet emotions I felt on his behalf when we dropped his mother off at the airport left me feeling like for the first time- I can't fix this for him. <br />
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The tears that strolled down my cheek were I guess partly for me- after all, I had just spent two weeks in small quarters alone with her- but mostly for him. She said to me that this would probably be her last trip to the U.S. A small part of me wanted to shake her and say "<b>HOW </b>could you say that?!? Think that?!? Believe that?!?" ok- a large part of me. The worst part is that he doesn't know that. <br />
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I do not- repeated- DO NOT keep secrets from the Aussie- about anything....I know that by telling him something like that he would be filled with guilt and possibly regret. <br />
So there I stood, crying like a fool at 4:00 a.m. in the airport and he couldn't figure out why it was affecting me so much. <br />
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So let me ask you this... Is it ok to keep something like that from him? In my defense I'm choosing not to believe that this is her last trip here. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhflpRoYGCffWoD9Fw8jiAbkELQe422hT7qaCmJwTtlxGNyGUqqP68OHlCLKVFdQTxwo6AMsZjX_Fvhrfu-Kg8FXtUYGQQKgWV9lHEAlBGrKQUGQqLOGDCW5hFHm1N2Lv-WGoUP2EZ7ck0/s1600/DSC02782.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhflpRoYGCffWoD9Fw8jiAbkELQe422hT7qaCmJwTtlxGNyGUqqP68OHlCLKVFdQTxwo6AMsZjX_Fvhrfu-Kg8FXtUYGQQKgWV9lHEAlBGrKQUGQqLOGDCW5hFHm1N2Lv-WGoUP2EZ7ck0/s1600/DSC02782.JPG" height="640" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">white stocking for her first(and last?!?) Christmas with him in 8 years</td></tr>
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Postpartum pastimeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446634357679559939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1214196278856055987.post-76117288839789991132013-12-17T14:04:00.000-08:002014-02-07T22:40:51.141-08:00a lunchbox fullWhen tax season rolled around the Aussie and I couldn't agree which tax person to go to; his or mine. Considering we both used the same company, in different locations, and we were filling separately (thanks to student loans) we decided we'd each use our own. The Aussies appointment day came and I decided to stay home and get some work done. He woke up not feeling too great, but decided to make the hour and half journey to "his guy." <br />
Throughout the day I received updates via text message that lead me to believe he really wasn't feeling well. I offered to drive out and pick him up, but he consistently refused. After barely making it through the appointment the Aussie gets back in his car and heads home. <br />
Upon his arrival, I met him at the door where he handed me a blue lunchbox. Before he could get any words out of his mouth, I peeked inside the lunchbox...<br />
That's when he tells me that he got sick and low and behold, I was holding the evidence! After suggesting that I wash it out, I faked a sympathetic smile and told him there were other lunchboxes he could use. "How did you manage to continue driving if you were getting sick?" a rational question, I thought. <br />
The Aussie tells me that he was embarrassed about getting sick on the side of the road, and for fear of people seeing him he went to his trunk, found a lunchbox and used that... <br />
Too embarrassed?!?! No shame in bringing it home to his new wife though! <br />
Another lesson learned in all of the things they DIDN'T tell us about marriage!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRYZKCm_K6cDrhi_dIme5FXgrvUYByMAqT8fJhWFKEctbsUy_IwowLft5TYviEjkSiwYcN_KldFFvsL8tk-bZjhu58Gk3GGii_oYJCKyGOzoa1SE9LQes4bek62CVBPFccZIlr0QlHJ7U/s1600/WIN_20140121_230835.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRYZKCm_K6cDrhi_dIme5FXgrvUYByMAqT8fJhWFKEctbsUy_IwowLft5TYviEjkSiwYcN_KldFFvsL8tk-bZjhu58Gk3GGii_oYJCKyGOzoa1SE9LQes4bek62CVBPFccZIlr0QlHJ7U/s1600/WIN_20140121_230835.JPG" height="360" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There it is! well we had two, this is the second one that at no time held vomit :) thank God</td></tr>
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Postpartum pastimeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446634357679559939noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1214196278856055987.post-38306565422956972222013-12-04T15:14:00.002-08:002014-02-07T23:03:36.191-08:00The All American Girl Meets An Aussie<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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After years of kissing all the wrong frogs I have finally found my prince. We met in April, and married in October. Before you finish the "aww" or the "what the..." let me explain.<br />
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The Aussie and I met online. We exchanged winks, a few emails and quickly progressed to text messages and Skype dates. It wasn't long before I had agreed to meet him face to face. Him being the only person I actually agreed to meet in person, you can imagine my hesitation. I had him meet me at a local restaurant about ten minutes from where I live and didn't feel the least bit bad about him driving the hour and half to get there. So with my mother on speed dial, and friends ready to pounce at a moments notice, I showed up for dinner, 20 minutes late with a "happy belated birthday" card in hand. <br />
<br />
I had hoped that my attempt to be cute and my recognition of his recently passed birthday would excuse my tardiness. There he stood, six feet of Aussie, with his round honey eyes, dark blond hair with just a hint of auburn peeking through sporting a five o'clock shadow. He wore sneakers- strike one- but i was willing to overlook that because of his adorable awkward greeting. <br />
We took our seats and I wondered if everyone around us could tell it was our first date, our first meeting. While much of the dinner was a blur I can assure you it had its fair share of the standard fist date interview questions. Though we had already discussed much of them repeating them in person seemed just as new, just as traditional as any other first date. I remember ordering a burger out of a combination of hunger, nerves and not wanting to appear high maintenance. He started a story with " there's this burger place in Wisconsin, have you ever been there?" "No" "Good, don't ever go, its terrible" I laughed, appreciated his honesty and humor and took a bite of my burger, wondering if this would be the start of a new adventure or just a funny story to tell my friends about later.<br />
<br />
Fast forward to late September. My traveling boyfriend shows up to my place after he was on the road for a week, I scoop him into my arms ready for an exciting night and hear the dreaded words that no girl wants to hear... "we need to talk" and as my stomach danced the salsa with two left feet I released him from my grip, looked into his eyes and said "what did you do?!? I will kill you!" his warm nervous smile calmed me down momentarily while he sat me down on the couch to let me know that his Visa had been denied and he would officially be illegal in six days. "It's fine, we'll get married" I say "I'm glad you feel that way, let me tell you all of the options" he replies. the rest of the conversations as I recall it sounded much like the mother in Charlie Brown. I mean who had time to listen, I was busy planning a wedding! "my Aunt is a JP" I offered, with not a clue what he was talking about it. <br />
<br />
So I made the appropriate phone calls - parents, aunt, cousins, grandparents and announced that the Aussie and I would be married before the week was over. I called out of work, drove the two and a half hours to my parents house with my future husband and looked at sites to have our wedding.<br />
<br />
With time as our enemy my parents, my Aussie, my brother and I drove around spots to figure out where to marry. It was decided that we would still do our church wedding at some point in the future; complete with a big white dress and a cake, reception and every little girls dream. We decided to wed on the beach of one of our favorite picnic spots and do a simple dinner for the family only ceremony. <br />
<br />
The big day was here... I had the dress, a simple white gown my grandfather bought me years before, as I'm his real life Evening Gown Barbie. I had the birdcage style headpiece my mother found at a vintage store, I had the sand from the beach of my childhood that my mother, maid or honor and I scooped up the morning of and put in a small jar for our sand ceremony. I had met the in laws when they flew over the day before I married their son, and I had beautifully simple isle made of flowers and buckets looking over the ocean. Skype was set up for the family members that couldn't join us, and now the only thing missing was my Aussie... <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Note the homemade shirts from my cousins kiddos :) </td></tr>
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Postpartum pastimeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446634357679559939noreply@blogger.com0